NOM NOM NOM

So, there I was on Meetup.com, minding my own business, browsing and looking for interesting things to do in the area. Wondering if there were any fatty meetup groups around, I typed up “fat” in the search box, and hit #1 was a HAES group (HOORAY!) but hit #2 was a “fitness and activity group to stay FOREVER YOUNG” and the description pulled no fat-hating punches! Check this out! (trigger warning for ridonkilous fat hating spew):

…Oh I forgot, i don’t list restaurant events that tend to draw people with Big Guts and Fat Butts that find walking-hiking or any other physical activity a burden either so you can rest assured none of them will eat you alive if they are hungry. We are people that enjoy doing things as a SMALL close group at a variety of places and activities with the goal to keep things SIMPLE, generally CLOSE in travel distance, INEXPENSIVE, ENJOYABLE..

(emphasis mine)

YOU GUYS!! I KNOW!!

At first I was offended, because come ON, it takes more than just being hungry to make me eat people, amirite? Then after a few minutes, I just couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous an image that is, and my writer’s mind (being presently busy with writing a sword & sorcery type fantasy epic) came up with the following satirical nursery rhyme on the spot.

FEE FIE FOE FUM

I’M A FAT LAZY BUM

HATE TO WALK HATE TO RUN

BRING ME SKINNIES ON A BUN

 

 

DONUT!

In my other life, I am a jeweler. I have a BFA in studio arts and my particular emphasis and passion is in jewelery design and fabrication. At this point in my life, though, I don’t have the resources to realize my visions, so I spend most of my jeweler energies designing and ogling other people’s creations. The other day I came across this fabulous gallery based in San Fransisco, Velvet da Vinci, and spent over an hour or two admiring the work in the gallery images.

And then….

I found the images of Lynn Christiansen’s 2009 show “Maybe Just One More” and saw so many beautiful pieces, but one image stood out to me as the most hilarious and possibly most subversive piece in the entire collection–subversive in the sense that if a Fatty McFatty Fat like me wore it in PUBLIC, it would be like I were taking PRIDE in my fatness and in the horribly sinful JUNK that made me so obscenely disgusting! Wearing a DONUT BRACELET?! Why, that would be THUMBING ONE’S NOSE AT ALL THE SELF-HATRED AND FOOD MORALIZING WITH WHICH ALL FATTIES MUST FLAGELLATE THEMSELVES!

I want this bracelet.

I can only imagine that looks I would get if I wore it out and about. I would just laugh and laugh and laugh.

Fatties Run Around Outside and Have Fun

Getting in some exercise doesn’t have to be the torturous chore it so often is (for me anyway). We have had an inordinate amount of snow around these here parts so these two Fat Sisters went out this weekend and hit the local sledding hill.

When we were done sledding, we had a vigorous snowball fight. It was truly joyful movement and a good time was had by all. Anyone else out there having fun in the snow?

*the title of this post is a phrase that was uttered a few months ago on a Two Whole Cakes Fatcast by Lesley Kinzel as she described her idea of a perfect Fat Camp. Sounds pretty good to me too.