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  • Rachel 8:12 pm on April 19, 2011 Permalink  

    Eating and Food Policing in Advertizing 

    Yanno whats been bugging me for the longest time now?  How women are allowed to eat on tv commercials. To wit, TEENY TINY BITES. BITES SO TINY AS TO PRACTICALLY BE MUNCHING ON AIR. WITH A GODDAMN HAPPY SMILE ON THE FACE.

    Who eats this way? Seriously?

    I don’t ever see a man eating food this way on tv.  No; pizza, burgers, whatever–its being shoved into a wide open, anticipating maw.  I guess such rapacious enjoyment of food is too UNSEEMLY for women.

    Has anyone else noticed this?

    • bigliberty 8:16 pm on April 19, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      Yes. This. Completely agreed. It annoys the hell out of me.

      The ads where I see women taking a big bite? Sexualized with food as a poor proxy for a penis.

      So if we’re not blowing a dude, we better not be eating, either.

      • Rachel 8:39 pm on April 19, 2011 Permalink | Reply

        OMG YES. Yanno whats really sad, I never really noticed that I had noticed that until you mentioned it just now, and its totally TRUE. Goes to show just how normalized objectification is.

    • Kathy 8:21 pm on April 19, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      I know! Who bites a teeny edge off the corner of a Dove chocolate like that?! I put the whole thing in my mouth and suck it! *nods*

    • vesta44 11:17 pm on April 19, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      Ah, I’ve figured it out!!! Those women who take those teeny tiny bites? They’ve had WLS to get thin and can only take teeny tiny bites of anything, otherwise they won’t be able to keep it down. And the ones who are taking the big bites, well, they’re sluts, of course (food sluts or sluts for sex, same difference).
      The “tiny bites” registered with me because I’ve had WLS (it failed, of course, and I’m fatter than ever) and tiny bites is all I could take of anything I ate and they had to be chewed to mush in order to keep them down (and even though the stomach-stapling has come partially undone, for some foods I still have to take small bites and chew it very, very well to keep it down, and this is 12 years after the stapling came undone).

    • Elizabeth 1:35 am on April 20, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      I tend to nibble on things, but when I do it around people, they laugh it me (often calling me “Squirrel”), so I can attest it’s definitely not the usual way people eat.

      But I think the ads with small bites are aimed at women (see dainty and lady-like you’ll be if you eat our product! You won’t be a glutton and you DEFINITELY won’t get fat!), whereas the ads with women eating phallic food–as Big Liberty so aptly mentions–are aimed at men, associating the food with sex in the time-honored advertising strategy (I’m thinking particularly of the horrible Paris Hilton hamburger/car wash ads).

      Though it’s strange really, if you’re trying to get the average woman-objectifying straight dude to buy, say, a hamburger, isn’t showing that hamburger as a stand-in for the phallus kind of counter intuitive? Since the point is for him to eat it, right?

    • Kirsten 7:20 am on April 20, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      Oh but don’t you know? Only big fat disgusting smelly gross women take normal sized bites! Tiny thin pretty petite sexysexysexy girls take little tiny tiny bites. And then chew it for 42 hours like the chic in the granola bar commercial. Seriously, W. T. F. I mean, yes, you should chew your food well. You should. It’s how it was meant to be done. But I don’t think that it should take you the entire segment of a commercial to chew up what would be probably about 3 of those “whole grains” (yeah right, processed to within an inch of its life).

      I refuse to watch commercials like that. Refuse. And I won’t buy the products. it’s going to get to the point that I’m not going to be able to buy anything eventually……

    • Mrs. Sprat 7:37 am on April 20, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      I’ve noticed this too. A lot of women on sitcoms pick up forks and then put them down again, just right so the don’t eat it at all. Now I’m sure some of this is a money thing, the more times they have to do the scene, they have to keep replacing the food if there is a huge bitemark, but I’m sure some of it is about looking lady-like. One actress who doesn’t do that is Sarah Jessica Parker. Say what you will about Sex and the City, but she eats a burger with gooey cheese coming out everywhere, takes HUGE bites of apples and really, truly eats and enjoys her food on the show. It’s a nice change.

    • notblueatall 2:43 pm on April 20, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      Yes! It’s so annoying. Either they over-sexualize food (it’s never sexy to me anyway) or they perpetuate the women-shouldn’t-eat thing. UGH!

    • Lisa 3:19 pm on April 20, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      I remember watching this advert for, I think, one of those breakfast drinks, aimed at both men and women. The men in the ads were shown drinking the stuff and working out whilst the women just worked out. So… women don’t eat now? Cause that’s like really healthy you know. Its ridiculous and makes me so angry.

  • Rachel 7:14 pm on February 22, 2011 Permalink  


    So, there I was on, minding my own business, browsing and looking for interesting things to do in the area. Wondering if there were any fatty meetup groups around, I typed up “fat” in the search box, and hit #1 was a HAES group (HOORAY!) but hit #2 was a “fitness and activity group to stay FOREVER YOUNG” and the description pulled no fat-hating punches! Check this out! (trigger warning for ridonkilous fat hating spew):

    …Oh I forgot, i don’t list restaurant events that tend to draw people with Big Guts and Fat Butts that find walking-hiking or any other physical activity a burden either so you can rest assured none of them will eat you alive if they are hungry. We are people that enjoy doing things as a SMALL close group at a variety of places and activities with the goal to keep things SIMPLE, generally CLOSE in travel distance, INEXPENSIVE, ENJOYABLE..

    (emphasis mine)


    At first I was offended, because come ON, it takes more than just being hungry to make me eat people, amirite? Then after a few minutes, I just couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous an image that is, and my writer’s mind (being presently busy with writing a sword & sorcery type fantasy epic) came up with the following satirical nursery rhyme on the spot.







    • Ashley 12:37 am on February 23, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      Haha nice little ditty. That’s crazy but at least you did find a HAES group.

    • Jazz 8:06 am on February 23, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      Bring me skinnies on a bun!!! Love it.

      Me? I eat people all the time when I get hungry. The office is decidedly beginning to lack humans. Need to hire.

    • wriggles 8:08 am on February 23, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      ridonkilous fat hating spew

      I’ve written a post which uses those exact terms!

      And I think you’re right humour is the best way to whip the rug out from under this mentality. People can be as snobby as they want about fatz if it gives them a bit of self esteem-goodness forbid they’d actually have to do that by ya know, raising it on their own- but if (those of us who can manage) don’t indulge their feelings of superiority. It gives them something to do.

    • notblueatall 12:44 pm on February 23, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      Nice! I came across similar ones on my meet up site, too. Is there a way to report them for excluding people? I doubt it. Oh well.

  • Rachel 7:20 pm on February 2, 2011 Permalink  


    In my other life, I am a jeweler. I have a BFA in studio arts and my particular emphasis and passion is in jewelery design and fabrication. At this point in my life, though, I don’t have the resources to realize my visions, so I spend most of my jeweler energies designing and ogling other people’s creations. The other day I came across this fabulous gallery based in San Fransisco, Velvet da Vinci, and spent over an hour or two admiring the work in the gallery images.

    And then….

    I found the images of Lynn Christiansen’s 2009 show “Maybe Just One More” and saw so many beautiful pieces, but one image stood out to me as the most hilarious and possibly most subversive piece in the entire collection–subversive in the sense that if a Fatty McFatty Fat like me wore it in PUBLIC, it would be like I were taking PRIDE in my fatness and in the horribly sinful JUNK that made me so obscenely disgusting! Wearing a DONUT BRACELET?! Why, that would be THUMBING ONE’S NOSE AT ALL THE SELF-HATRED AND FOOD MORALIZING WITH WHICH ALL FATTIES MUST FLAGELLATE THEMSELVES!

    I want this bracelet.

    I can only imagine that looks I would get if I wore it out and about. I would just laugh and laugh and laugh.

    • Twistie 8:21 pm on February 2, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      MUST! HAVE! NOW!

      It would go so beautifully with my scarlet fat necklace.

    • Dee 8:26 am on February 3, 2011 Permalink | Reply


    • Jazz 8:41 am on February 3, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      I’ll take the profiteroles thanks very much!

    • notblueatall 3:48 pm on February 3, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      Love this! And I will have to check out that gallery. Too cool!

    • Buttercup Rocks 4:40 pm on February 3, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a bangle quite so much in my entire life. (And I’ve wanted many).

  • Jen 4:18 pm on February 1, 2011 Permalink  

    Fatties Run Around Outside and Have Fun 

    Getting in some exercise doesn’t have to be the torturous chore it so often is (for me anyway). We have had an inordinate amount of snow around these here parts so these two Fat Sisters went out this weekend and hit the local sledding hill.

    When we were done sledding, we had a vigorous snowball fight. It was truly joyful movement and a good time was had by all. Anyone else out there having fun in the snow?

    *the title of this post is a phrase that was uttered a few months ago on a Two Whole Cakes Fatcast by Lesley Kinzel as she described her idea of a perfect Fat Camp. Sounds pretty good to me too.

    • Twistie 5:01 pm on February 1, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      Looks like you guys had a blast! Me? I don’t go out in the snow (good thing I live in an area of California that doesn’t get it!), but I love to watch people frolicking in the snow.

    • Rachel 5:48 pm on February 1, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      The sad thing is that Jen was too busy throwing snowballs at her youngest to take photgraphic evidence of my totally spectacular wipeout.

    • Cate 3:25 pm on February 2, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      I just bought my first pair of snow pants in hopes of spending hours in the snow with my (quite fat) adult butt, and guess who got completely missed by the storm?! I may go outside and sit in the slush and nurse my jealousy.

  • Rachel 9:41 pm on January 5, 2011 Permalink  

    No Turning Back from the Dark Side. 

    I have just engaged in my first act of overt FA activism.

    This is a big deal for me. Even though I have been in FA for nearly three nears now or so,  I haven’t actually ever had the courage to fight back against the standard narrative.  I’m not a confrontational sort and Im not one to present myself as an expert when I cant back myself up. Instead, I’ve spent the last three years quietly absorbing everybody’s words; every linked study, every argument made, and every myth busted.  When it came to being an activist, I simply refused to be a part of the normal dialouge.  If someone wanted to talk about her diet, I simply put on my deaf face (blankey mcdead eyes) and said variations of “thats nice”.  If someone wanted to snark on her body, I simply expressed my disagreement, and changed the topic or walked away.  If someone attempted to moralize food, praise or judge my food, I simply said “I dont beleive in diets–food is food” and ate whatever I was eating, often looking at whomever annoyed me right in the eyes. That usually shut them up.  (The one thing I have still not yet figured out how to handle is when someone says “I lost X pounds this week!” I don’t want to reward that statement with praise, but I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by dismissing them either. Right now, I just say “Thats nice.”)

    Until today that was the extent of the activism I have been comfortable with.

    Today though, a facebook friend of mine, who is VERY new to the whole FA concept after a lifetime of fighting with her body, and only recently resolved to stop dieting, learned from her doctor that her fasting blood sugar is 135, and is back on medifast.  I nearly flipped. Instead I posted on my wall a link to “You Did Not Eat Your Way to Diabetes! and then I did something I hadnt done before; I started evangelizing, and y’all it FELT GREAT!

    I dunno where this stuff came from or how I even remembered where to look for the stats I needed (thanks should probably go to Notblueatall for refreshing much of my memory with her post today) but because of everything I’ve learned through three years of reading FA blogs, I was able to tell my friend why she shouldn’t ever feel bad for getting diabetes:

    NO NO NO, dont ever blame yourself for it! even the American Diabetes Association says you cannot eat your way to diabetes.

    A relevant quote: “Most overweight people never develop type 2 diabetes, and many people with type 2 diabetes are at a normal weight or only moderately overweight. ”

    Weight gain is only moderately correlated to diabetes, it is NOT a cause, but more likely to be a SYMPTOM of long term metabolic disorders. Only 18% of fat people have diabetes and (from webmd) “Of people with diabetes, 21.1% were obese, 9.8% overweight, 5% normal weight, and 4.2% underweight.”

    Dont EVER let a doctor tell you that your eating caused your possible diabetes. Doctors are fat-phobes and brainwashed by big pharma. As for treating your blood sugar, all you need to do is moderate your carbs and exercize everyday. Improvements in health metrics resulting from weight loss alone are temporary–studies show that exercize is itself an effective regulator, and works long term regardless of weight. I’ll see if I can find the sources.


    I’ve never been this “Activist” before, but Im glad I did, because now my friend is reading Kate Harding’s FAQ,  and doesnt sound like she hates herself for having high blood sugar–a state she admits runs in both sides of her family.  PEOPLE, DONT BLAME YOURSELF FOR YOUR GENETICS, COME ON NOW.

    Do I feel ready to be more activist-y in the “real world”?  I  dunno, but I do feel ready to start rehearsing for it. And thats quite a thing to imagine–ME telling folks what’s what?

    Shit, son.

    • noceleryplease 8:35 am on January 6, 2011 Permalink

      Good for you! The description of what people go through on that Medifast plan scares the bejeezus out of me!

    • Ashley Pariseau 8:51 am on January 6, 2011 Permalink

      I was involved in a study for diabetes last year and we found that it’s more like 40% percent of people who are overweight have diabetes and 8 out of 10 people who have it are overweight…but I’ll have to dig up the papers I kept from it.

      Anyways, my grandma always told me I was going to get diabetes from eating too many sweets.

      • CTJen 5:19 pm on January 6, 2011 Permalink

        Ashely, it would be interesting to see the sample size and research protocols of that study. Did they control for factors like genetics and participant lifestyle? How was this study peer reviewed and by whom? And where is this study published? Even if the statistics you report are on the up and up, it still doesn’t prove a causal relationship between fat and diabetes.

      • Rachel 6:38 pm on January 6, 2011 Permalink

        I too am interested in hearing more of of that study’s details. the figures you cite seem exceptionally higher than results of previous studies, like the one I referenced on webmd. To be honest, I suspect your study’s sample size was small. Small studies tend to show inflated results. but regardless of any inflation, your figures echo current data that the rate of fatness among diabetics far outweighs (HA!) the rate of diabetes among the fat population. To wit, you cited “40% percent of people who are overweight have diabetes and 8 out of 10 [80%] people who have it [diabetes] are overweight.” This pattern, consistently shown across medical data, indicates that the causal relationship–IF ANY–between fat and diabetes runs the opposite direction of what is commonally claimed. that diabetes causes fatness, not fatness diabetes.

    • Jenna 9:28 am on January 6, 2011 Permalink

      Kudos, darling! Isn’t speaking out exciting and scary all
      at the same time? But with it comes catharsis and speaking the
      truth in some ways, at least for me, settles that truth into my
      being. Plus, those of us who are continuous activists like myself
      can get relief when it is someone other than our voices calling out
      because that does get tiresome. There is nothing better in the
      world than to hear your views being defended by another. Keep it
      the good work!

    • CTJen 9:48 am on January 6, 2011 Permalink

      You go girl!

    • notblueatall 2:26 pm on January 6, 2011 Permalink

      I just happened on your blog today serendipitously and wow! Love this, love you and thanks for the linky-love! It took me awhile to give myself permission to voice my honest and true thoughts, to be my most authentic self, but thank Maude for FA and my fellow fatty bloggers. We support each other and share our experiences with all who would read them. That alone takes courage. Rock on!

    • Christine 12:19 pm on January 8, 2011 Permalink

      “Of people with diabetes, 21.1% were obese, 9.8% overweight, 5% normal weight, and 4.2% underweight.”

      It would be useful to get some context around this quote, because it leaves the other 60% unaccounted for.

      • Rachel 12:36 pm on January 8, 2011 Permalink

        I totally agree with you. This is the link to the webmd article I lifted that stat off:
        Which summarized, but did not link to or provide any context of, the 2009 Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, and of which stated only that “The Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index findings are based on telephone interviews with 673,000 adults in January 2008 to December 2009. About 90,000 surveys were done each quarter, and the margin of error for the quarterly results is +/- 0.3 percentage points. “

  • Jen 10:02 pm on October 30, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: the universe balance   

    I have been trying to compose a cogent post about the whole MCI (Marie Claire Incident) and am unable to put into words how I feel except to say THIS IS WHY THE FAT ACCEPTANCE MOVEMENT EXISTS; because that kind of outright hatred needs an antithesis.

    • CTJen 10:24 pm on October 30, 2010 Permalink

      Oh, and did you see all the commenters on Lesley’s counterpoint, clutching their pearls over her use of the word “fatty”? Oh how I laughed and laughed and laughed about that.

  • Jen 10:01 pm on October 26, 2010 Permalink  

    Dusting away some cobwebs. 

    Humorous Pictures
    see more Lolcats and funny pictures

    O HAI! I wrote this post more than a year ago, and for some reason never hit publish. I don’t know why. Anyway, I came by to brush some cobwebs away and figured I may as well post this thing. Enjoy!


    I belong to this great meet-up group for homeschooling families in my area and a couple of weeks ago I was at this event with a couple of other moms from the group. One of the moms (I’ll call her Kay) is a really fabulous lady who also happens to be very petite. Kay always wears her 3-month old baby in a sling wherever she goes. This baby is ginormo-baby. If this baby lived in Grand Junction, CO, he would totally be denied health insurance. Seriously he is un bébé énorme, so Kay appears even tinier by comparison. Anyway, we’re all standing around chatting, and this completely random woman comes up and, after commenting on her baby’s size, starts gushing about Kay’s figure. It was 5 minutes straight of “you’re so thin and beautiful and the kids must really keep you busy and you must work so hard to stay slender”. On and on and on, so much so that I was starting to feel uncomfortable. I can only imagine how Kay was feeling. Finally Kay says, “you know what? It’s just good genes.” As the gusher’s sails visibly deflated, Kay went on. “Yeah, you know my mother is thin, my grandmother was thin and I guess I just lucked out.” Then she shrugged and the woman sort of awkwardly drifted away.

    I am still a n00b when it comes to this whole Fat Acceptance thing, but when Kay said, “it’s just good genes”, something clicked. If the prevailing culture preferred a more rubenesque figure, I’d be the one having to tell this woman that “I just lucked out.”

    • Jenna 8:47 am on October 27, 2010 Permalink

      Isnt that the way? It takes that one sentence where you really *get* it and wake up. Then you watch all the people around you still sleeping and wonder what magical combination of words would it take to awaken them, too?

  • Jen 10:20 pm on August 30, 2010 Permalink  

    An Exercise in Frustration. With Flashbacks. 

    I realized this morning that my soon-to-be 5-year-old is gearing up for a growth spurt. Well, I’ve sort of been aware of it for about a week or so, given the difficulty I’ve had in keeping food in the house. His appetite has been voracious. This morning a pair of shorts which fit him just fine the last time he wore them (last week some time), did not fit him today. So while I was out today (grocery shopping of course!) I decided to pop into to Target to see what they had for him. I found a couple of super cute pairs of Shaun White shorts (on sale, w00t!) in the next size up, so I decided to poke around and see what they had in the long pants department.

    Here’s the thing. My kid is not, by any standard of measure, FAT. He is built on the stocky side with short legs and wide hips, just like his mama and there is no getting around the fact that he needs a husky jean. Last year, I wasn’t able to find any long pants in his size at Target or Walmart or the second-hand store, and honestly, I just can’t justify $25+ per pair of pants from one of the higher-end stores for a 4-year-old. (I needed at least 3 pairs, too.) I ended up just making a few pairs of pants for him myself.

    Today at Target, it was the same thing. They had maybe 3 pairs of husky sized jeans and not one of them was in his size. Not one. While I was vainly searching through the stacks of little boy jeans, I had a sudden crystal clear memory of pants shopping for me with my mom at Sears, and having the exact same problem: needing a Husky size and not finding it. [sigh]

    To top it off, Target charges $2 extra for Husky sized Wranglers. A fat tax. For children. Who aren’t really fat. It’s ri-goddamned-diculous. Luckily he is 5 years old, and won’t care that his jeans are homemade (again). *grumble*

    • vesta44 10:39 pm on August 30, 2010 Permalink

      When my son was little, I had the opposite problem. He was tall for his age and thin. To get pants with legs long enough for him, I had to buy 2 sizes larger than what he really wore, and get the slim version, then put darts in the waist so they would stay up. Needless to say, up until he started school, he wore a lot of homemade pants with elastic waists. I’m just glad I knew how to sew.
      He had problems finding jeans to fit up until a couple of years ago, when he started gaining a bit of weight. He used to wear a 34″ waist with a 34″ inseam (did I mention he’s 6′ 2″), he’s up to a 38″ waist now, and it’s easier to find that waist size with the inseam he needs than it was to find the 34/34s, for some reason.

    • spoonfork38 6:01 am on August 31, 2010 Permalink

      My 7-year old is now clearly in young misses, and I’ve hemmed three pairs of jeans and two pairs of pants about a foot. My MIL wanted me to cut off the legs, but she’ll grow into them by Christmas. She wants leggings, but those are for younger girls or women—and I’m not paying $40 for a pair of legging for me, much less someone who’s going to climb trees in them. . .

      My three year old, on the other hand, can still fit into her two-year old pants around the waist, but they hit her about knee-high . . .

    • Rachel Smith 11:24 pm on August 31, 2010 Permalink

      I have had the same problem with my son!! We ended up ordering pants from a husky boys site that were actually (surprisingly) really nice pants. Going through this with him has brought up all of my memories of shopping, and never finding clothes that fit. I still start to panic a little bit when I go shopping to this day.

  • Jen 9:27 am on August 5, 2010 Permalink  

    The More Things Change 

    The other day, I decided to go through some old photos and scan a few to put up on Facebook.


    As I was choosing the photos I noticed a few things.

    AVC Marching Mauraders Parade Practice

    First, I didn’t have that “OMG, I was so fat/thin!” reaction. I just look like myself.


    This isn’t to say that I didn’t notice if I was fatter in one picture than in another. I just didn’t have an emotional attachment to my apparent or perceived weight in the photos.


    It was just me.


    Secondly, I noticed that even though I went through times when I was smaller or bigger, my body shape stayed pretty much the same, even from the time I was very young.


    I never realized that. I spent so much of my life feeling like a huge giant whale–that my body was the wrong body. But the reality is my body is nothing more than it is.


    And that is actually pretty cool.

    • Rachel 3:36 pm on August 5, 2010 Permalink

      And no matter what the size of your body, you always were beautiful. Still are, as a matter of fact.

    • Bountiful Luv Muffin 5:13 pm on August 5, 2010 Permalink

      I love your pics! It gives me a sad when georgeous young women lament that they are “huuuuuuuuge and uuuuuuuuugly”. I tell them that when they approach their fifth decade of life, then they will wonder why they spent precious years bad-mouthing the beautiful young lady in their old photos.

  • Jen 7:12 pm on July 17, 2010 Permalink  

    I am tired 

    1. My energy levels are all wonky, so that I am tired at strange times and I have short bursts of energy other times. This is not conducive to blogging.

    2. I went shopping today because I needed some goddamned Capri pants.

    3. I found some! But not at Lane Bryant. WTH LB?!

    4. I did find a dress at Lane Bryant and was even sort of able to make a outfit! Yay LB!

    5. This is exciting because I do not really have “outfits” so much as “clothes to cover my nakedness”. Perhaps an OoTD post is in order.

    6. But not today. I’ve run out of spoons.

    • JeninCanada 9:03 pm on July 17, 2010 Permalink

      I don’t do outfits either, so I hear you! I hope you find your spoons tomorrow.

    • Heidi 12:33 pm on July 18, 2010 Permalink

      If you have a Catherine’s around, they have lots of capris (last time I checked, anyway). Their fit can vary wildly from one piece to another, however, so if one fits badly, another style might fit beautifully, so it’s worth trying on several even if the first doesn’t work.

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