A Rapsody

The other day at Shapely Prose, the “commentariat” went all-out balls-to-the-wall mocking a troll who had the gall to suggest that the fat people should sit down and shut up.

The thread eventually ended up with a re-worded tribute to Queen’s “Bohemian Rapsody”, with FA in mind. I thought it brilliant and think it needs to go viral. So this is my attempt to get it out there. If you agree with it at all or think it funny and awesome and clever, spread it around.
All thanks go to Anwen for her clever brilliance:

Is this the real life
Is this the fatosphere?
Caught by huge obese
No escape from their complaining
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
Im just a fat vadge, i need no sympathy
Because I’m big and fat, dancin’ round,
And you’re just a douchehound,
Also, that concern troll doesnt really matter to me,
To me

Mama,just killed a man,
I was fat at him, so fat,
He just couldn’t cope with that…
Mama, I’m a huge obese,
And yet I dare to talk and to complain

Mama oooh, don’t care that I am fat –
If Im not thin again this time tomorrow –
Carry on,carry on, ’cause it doesn’t really matter –

Results… Not typical…
Weight comes back along the line
And you’re hungry all the time
Goodbye, “lifestyle changes”, I’ve got to go
Gotta read Kate Harding’s* book, and face the truth

Mama, oooh (how this douche blows)
I don’t want to diet
I sometimes wish I’d never Weight Watched at all…

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Hound-of-douche, hound-of-douche, will you do the fat tango?
Ooga Booga Death Fatz, MeMe Roth is scaring me-
Fatty Fatpants, Fatty Fatpants,
Fatty Fatpants, Fatty Fatpants
Fatty Fatpants, Shapely Prose -magnifico-
Im just a fat girl, eating doughnuts (baby)
She’s just a fat girl, from a fat family-
Spare her from melodramatic obesity-

Jenny Craig, Slimfast Plan, will you let me go?
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go
(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go
(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go
(Let me go) Will not let you go
(Let me go) Will not let you go (Let me go) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
(Oh mama mia, mama mia) Mama mia, let me go!

Beelzebub has a baby-flavoured doughnut for me, for me, for me!

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye-
So you think you can silence me, tell me to die-
Oh, douchehound-cant do this to me, douchehound
Get the fuck out-just get the fuck outta here-

FA really matters,
Anyone can see,
FA really matters, FA really matters to me