Fat Talk Begone!

I know this is supposed to be Fat Talk Free Week but this has been on my mind lately and I really need to just purge it out of my mental system as verbal vomit, just so I can get on with the actual business of positive self-talk.

The fantasy of being thin and the fantasy of staying the same are both hitting me hard this month. Actually, has been for a couple months now. I’ve gained twenty pounds since January, and I’m a little freaked out by that. My jeans and blouses are too tight and I have had to up-size them twice so far this year. I’m trying hard not to blame myself for it, or to over analyze my gain, medically-speaking (i.e: hypothyroidism? pre-diabetes? malnutrition? Panic!). I keep telling myself I’ve had a stressful year, and that that’s ok, and that the size of my thighs and belly really doesn’t change the fact that I am a good person and an attractive woman. But I don’t really feel attractive right now, just sluggish and bloated. And I gotta admit, there’s a part of me that cares about cute clothes only because cute clothes hide how unattractive I feel, especially when I look at my body in the mirror. I prod my new inches as if it were some particularly creepy-looking dead insect, and label my body as pendulous, saggy, lumpy, doughy, and pasty, and tell myself I really got to stop eating crap. Then I feel even more guilty, for I know that no matter what crap I may or may not be eating, its better for me than the crap I’m thinking and saying to myself. So I eat more crap, just to spite that crap-talking bitch inside my head.

*insert a frustrated half-scream here*

So anyway. In other words, I’ve lost track of this whole fat acceptance thing, and I also know that I’m not the only one. and in the interest of ending this pms-induced round of self-pity, I’m going to take Rachel of the F-word’s suggestion and start being concertedly happy with myself, dammit. Her first suggestion:

Want to start trimming the fat from fat talk? Here’s some ways how: Choose one friend or family member and discuss one thing you each like about yourself.

One of the things I do like about my body are my breasts. They are large, round, and pillowy. Yeah, they aren’t “perfect” but no one’s perfect, and mine are still beautiful. They are the stamp of my femininity and as aggravating as I find them to be sometimes, I like the fact I have them.

Okay then. Feel free to let the comments section become a forum to share your self-appreciating affirmations with the world!

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