In my other life, I am a jeweler. I have a BFA in studio arts and my particular emphasis and passion is in jewelery design and fabrication. At this point in my life, though, I don’t have the resources to realize my visions, so I spend most of my jeweler energies designing and ogling other people’s creations. The other day I came across this fabulous gallery based in San Fransisco, Velvet da Vinci, and spent over an hour or two admiring the work in the gallery images.

And then….

I found the images of Lynn Christiansen’s 2009 show “Maybe Just One More” and saw so many beautiful pieces, but one image stood out to me as the most hilarious and possibly most subversive piece in the entire collection–subversive in the sense that if a Fatty McFatty Fat like me wore it in PUBLIC, it would be like I were taking PRIDE in my fatness and in the horribly sinful JUNK that made me so obscenely disgusting! Wearing a DONUT BRACELET?! Why, that would be THUMBING ONE’S NOSE AT ALL THE SELF-HATRED AND FOOD MORALIZING WITH WHICH ALL FATTIES MUST FLAGELLATE THEMSELVES!

I want this bracelet.

I can only imagine that looks I would get if I wore it out and about. I would just laugh and laugh and laugh.