NOM NOM NOM

So, there I was on Meetup.com, minding my own business, browsing and looking for interesting things to do in the area. Wondering if there were any fatty meetup groups around, I typed up “fat” in the search box, and hit #1 was a HAES group (HOORAY!) but hit #2 was a “fitness and activity group to stay FOREVER YOUNG” and the description pulled no fat-hating punches! Check this out! (trigger warning for ridonkilous fat hating spew):

…Oh I forgot, i don’t list restaurant events that tend to draw people with Big Guts and Fat Butts that find walking-hiking or any other physical activity a burden either so you can rest assured none of them will eat you alive if they are hungry. We are people that enjoy doing things as a SMALL close group at a variety of places and activities with the goal to keep things SIMPLE, generally CLOSE in travel distance, INEXPENSIVE, ENJOYABLE..

(emphasis mine)

YOU GUYS!! I KNOW!!

At first I was offended, because come ON, it takes more than just being hungry to make me eat people, amirite? Then after a few minutes, I just couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous an image that is, and my writer’s mind (being presently busy with writing a sword & sorcery type fantasy epic) came up with the following satirical nursery rhyme on the spot.

FEE FIE FOE FUM

I’M A FAT LAZY BUM

HATE TO WALK HATE TO RUN

BRING ME SKINNIES ON A BUN

 

 

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